biblical

Making the most of Mentors: Some brief thoughts on how to have a proper mentoring relationship

Mentoring is 20620796_10212740897253354_8047508259673876878_nextremely important in Christian ministry, but it’s worth is not appreciated as it should be. To have a mentor is to be blessed, and any mentoree (what I call someone who is being mentored) should work diligently to make the mentoring relationship viable. It’s important to handle mentoring relationships properly to get the most out of them and to bring glory to God. Here are some things I think will help…

  1. Listen, listen, listen

There is nothing more important in a mentoring relationship than the mentoree simply closing his mouth and opening his ears. Not listening in a mentoring setting is akin to a car with no tires; it’s pretty much useless.  The objective in a mentoring setting is for the mentoree to learn as much as possible from his mentor, and use what you learn for the glory of God in the ministry God has assigned you to.  But if you talk more than listen, you nor the people you will minister to in the future will profit from years of knowledge and experience of your mentor.

Often mentorees want to impress their mentors with their knowledge.  Don’t let that be you! Let your mentor be a mentor; don’t use him as an ego builder for yourself. Remember, this relationship is not about you, it’s about you being equipped better to make much of Jesus and to point people to him.

If your mentor is equipped to be a mentor, let him do the talking; if he’s not, find another one who is and listen.

  1. If you must talk, ask questions

If you can’t resist the urge to talk, then at least let your talk be in the form of questions.  Ask your mentor questions often and listen intently to his answers. Questions are a wonderful way to find out who people are, where they have been, what they have done, and the why to all the former. Questions get people talking and lets the person know you genuinely care about what they think.

In a ministry mentorship you should ask questions in the following areas:

Call to ministry, Family, Gifts, Theology, The Church, Conflict, Burnout, Humbleness, Etc.…

Asking your mentor questions in these areas is like opening a treasure cove of ministry knowledge… don’t allow it to go untapped. Even if you already know what the answers to your questions will be, it’s incredible discipline to ask and simply listen.

  1. Observe

Observing your mentor in everyday ministry is priceless. You must observe him as he interacts with his family, friends, public, and church family. The wealth of knowledge and insight you will gain from these interactions can save you from a plethora of mistakes and missteps, and help you gain trust with the people you minister to.

Observe him as he deals with an irritated or frustrated church member in a business meeting or someone who drops by his office and asks for money. Observe him as he engages a server as you eat lunch together and as he stops to chat with a group of seniors. Observe him as he kneels down to spend time with a little child to show them they are important.

Again, the lessons you can learn from this observation is beyond priceless and simply cannot be learned in seminary. Never overlook the little things that a mentor does; everything he does is a lesson in how to do ministry.

  1. Respect their years of ministry and life

You may be super duper over the top brilliant and the greatest theological mind since the apostle Paul himself, but that is not the end all.  You must know how to use that knowledge in a manner that brings glory to God, not yourself, and doesn’t make much of yourself but points people to Jesus.

Unfortunately I’ve seen young men in ministry abuse their God given intellect by thinking they’ve got it all figured out and the old guys are just, well…old. While that may be true, every old guy has seen a lot, and often forgotten more than you will ever know. DO NOT BE A “KNOW IT ALL”! Be humble, listen, ask questions, observe, and respect the years of experience that God has providentially blessed your mentor with.

You can learn something from everyone, even if they’re not on the same theological level you are on. A good theological mind is a must in ministry, but do not overlook the experience of someone who has loved God and served Him in the trenches for years.

I have seen this scenario many times in ministry; someone is saved as a teenager; goes to Bible college immediately after high school; then directly to seminary, and begins pastoring a church. Oftentimes they have never had a job that required a lot of physical labor or much of what many church members must face on a daily basis. Then they get frustrated at church members because they simply do not understand what people endure. This is where a good, experienced mentor can help. Most have been around and understand what people bear day in and day out, and if you listen, ask, observe, and respect their ministries it will make things much easier for you and keep you from many ministry calamities!

  1. Pray for them/thank God for them

Finally, the greatest thing you can do as a mentoree is to pray for your mentor and thank God for them. I have been immensely blessed with men who have poured  their lives into me and have invested countless hours mentoring me and teaching me about biblical ministry. I am indescribably indebted to them. Anyone who has a mentor is blessed and should show they’re gratefulness by praying for them and thanking God for them.

May God continue to raise up godly mentors, as well as wise mentorees who will use the mentoring relationship for the glory of God and the good of His church.

One generation shall commend your works to another,

    and shall declare your mighty acts.

Psalm 145:4

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Categories: bible, biblical, Christians, cross, God, Gospel, grace, Jesus, mentor pastor preach, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Heavenly Affections

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

(Psalm 42:1-2 ESV)

I’ve grown so weary of bad news.  Day after day thousands of news outlets pour all their efforts into reporting tragic happenings; from images of flag-draped caskets to flooded streets and water rescues.  Video footage from drought stricken countries, war-torn nations, community violence, and school shootings have become commonplace and we’re barely even moved by the reports. It seems as if it never ends and certainly never gets better…especially if you’re a pastor.

Pastors often hear the worst things.  In counseling sessions, people pour out their hearts.  I will say this, nothing surprises me any more…nothing.  In nearly 25 years of pastoral ministry, I’ve learned that people endure horrendous and tumultuous events; and many on a regular basis.  I hear of financial failure, ruined relationships, bizarre addictions, and the list goes on… It never ceases.

Then there’s the video I saw today, of the little boy in Syria whose home was destroyed by a bomb.  He sits in the back of an ambulance, dirty, disoriented, and wiping blood off his forehead.  It was such a sad and sickening sight.

Sin is everywhere, and like a snail that leaves a slimy trial, or a tornado that leaves utter destruction in its path, sin devastates.  I’m sick of the result of sin.  I’m sick of it in my life, the life of my family, the life of the people I shepherd, and it’s far reaching effect throughout the whole of humanity.  In one sense, sin is the mother of disaster; where sin abounds, disaster thrives.  I am simply tired of it all.  The more suffering I see, the more I can be identified with Romans 8:19…

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

In other words, I long to see Jesus.  I long for the day when creation will be restored.  I long for the day that is described in the book of Revelation,

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
(Revelation 21:4 ESV)

Sure, there’s a lot I want to do, a lot of gospel I want to preach, but the more I see this world, the more I want to see Jesus.  David felt the same many years ago when he wrote,

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

(Psalm 63:1, ESV)

A “dry and weary land” gives you great thirst.  For those who are alive in Christ, he is consistently and perfectly creating a disdain in us for the things of this world and ever increasing our desire for him, to be realized ultimately in his presence.  Come Lord Jesus…

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Categories: bible, biblical, Brother, Christians, cross, Glory, God, Gospel, grace, Jesus, king David, sin, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

The Mist of Life

IMG_0200I remember it like it was yesterday; sitting in the Band room of Hoggard High School on the last day of school in 1980, talking to Mike B.  Mike was a clarinet player and a senior; I was a lowly sophomore.  He had completed all the requirements to graduate High School and he was simply passing time, waiting for the bell to ring, signifying the last day of school was finally over.  On the Band Room wall hung a clock.  It was one of those classic, large, gold rimmed school clocks that had the second hand which made a distinctive “tick” each time it moved from number to number.  Although in the grand scheme of things the second hand was less important than the hour or minute hand, it seemed to make up for its lack of importance with its persistent, metronome like trek around the face of the clock.  As we sat there I directed Mike’s attention to the second hand and sarcastically said, “Mike… You see those seconds ticking by? Just think about it, those are seconds that you can never get back! Your High School years are over, you will never get them back…and those seconds will just keep on ticking by!  Just listen to them…tick…tick…tick…tick…”  As you can imagine, Mike was not amused with my sophomoric shenanigans, and responded with, “Can you possibly be more depressing?!?”

Thinking back on that moment over 35 years ago, what was meant to be silly teasing on my part, turned out to be a very true testimonial which plays out in everyone’s life! Since that day in 198o, if it had functioned properly, that second hand on that clock in the Band Room would have ticked between 1,103,760,000 and 1,106,764,000 times!  When I think about that fact, I am nothing short of amazed that so much time has gone by in what seems to be the blink of an eye. Over a billion seconds in the blink of an eye?!? As the saying goes, “That’s life!”

Yes, life flies by so quickly.  This is what the biblical writer, James was relaying when he said, “What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes”, (James 4:14, ESV).  In the grand scheme of things, our lives are like a mist that appears vibrant for a period, but then, seemingly before we realize it, is over, never to be recaptured. Just like those billions of seconds that seemed like they would last forever…tick…tick…tick…tick…gone.  Far too often we live as if our earthly lives will never end.  James tells us that our lives are very short and that Jesus should be the center of our lives. Let’s not waste even one of those seconds.  Live the precious seconds, those grace seconds, centered in Christ, for His glory and our good.  May that little “dash” between our birth year and death year on our Tombstone represent a life that wasn’t wasted.  May it represent a life that was surrendered to Jesus.

  A short, “mist” of a life surrendered to Christ translates into an eternity in His presence.

Categories: bible, biblical, God, Gospel, grace, Jesus, mercy | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Five Reminders of Biblical Evangelsim

I’ve been thinking in recent days about modern evangelism and how we, at least in my estimation have erred in the contemporary church.  The following are five reminders (I’m sure there are many more) that will

help us be more biblical in sharing the gospel.

1.  Trust the power of the gospel, not your ability.
This should really be a no-brainer, but unfortunately it tends to be the norm for many within the local church; more times than not we strive to practice sharing the gospel in our own power and ability.  It is vital that we go forth relying on God, resting in his strength, and allowing His Holy Spirit to work in and through us.  We are totally dependent on God for all that we do, including evangelism, so “Cease striving and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10)

2.  Evangelism is about God’s glory, not yours.
Again, this should be a no-brainer…  Far too often I have heard individuals and even churches as a whole boasting about the great number of converts they have won and baptisms they have performed, all while seemingly assuming it was accomplished by their own strength, techniques, and overall charm.  If this was true, and it’s not, then the glory would rest upon those who share, not God.  Never, never, never seek to steal God’s glory!  “I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.” (Isaiah 42:8)

3.  Evangelism is more than simply inviting someone to church.
It’s been my experience throughout my approximately forty five years of church experience that many, maybe even the majority of church members think that evangelism equates to inviting people to their church.  At that point it’s up to the preacher to work his magic from the pulpit and convince the person to be saved!  Regrettably this mindset has alarming consequences in the local church setting.  It can ultimately result in a Pope like mentality where the pastor/preacher is the only one that can reach God and share the gospel.  It also relegates preaching to evangelism alone, in turn causing the church to be biblically ignorant and vulnerable to “every wind of doctrine…” Also, it causes people to miss out on one of the greatest personal privileges, pointing someone to Jesus!

4.  Evangelism should be driven by joy, not guilt.
Sharing the amazing gospel should be one of the greatest joys we have as Christians; yet too often it is “performed” out of guilt.  How many times have we been brow beaten with statistic after statistic about how few people share their faith, and then sent out to “share the love of Jesus”?  Sharing the gospel should be joyful, not a chore!  Yes, there is a sense of duty involved, but that duty should be fueled by joy.  Think of it this way, you have the greatest news of hope that the world is in desperate need to hear, and you have the privilege of sharing that good news with them!

5.  Evangelism should be practiced with respect to others.
The best way to share the gospel is after you have earned the respect of the one you want to share it with.  Those with who we witness to should not feel like they have been at a used car lot after we have talked with them, rather they should feel as if they have been talking with a friend who truly loves them. If we love people with the love that Christ loves us we will treat people like the priceless souls they are and not like a number.  Be a good friend, co-worker, neighbor, etc., and earn the right to tell them about Jesus.  More times than not, when we are a true friend, they will ask us about the hope that is within us!
“Declare his glory among the nations,

    his marvelous works among all the peoples!”
(Psalm 96:3, ESV)
Categories: biblical, Evangelism, Glory, God, Gospel, Jesus, Share, Witness | Leave a comment

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